“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”-Benjamin Franklin
Your behavior and appearance in court may significantly influence the outcome of your case; and I understand that to many it may be a scary and stressful situation but it is imperative that you properly prepare for court just as you would for a sport or anything else in your life. I have included 7 tips for preparing for your court appearance.
- The Early Bird Gets the Worm. Plan on getting to the court house at least 30 minutes before court to make sure you know where to go and to meet with your attorney to go over the case and procedure. Also, clear your calendar for court; you may be there all day, so make sure your employment is aware of this and that you have made proper arrangements for child care. Just because your case is set for 8:30 a.m. does not mean that will be heard right then, nor does it mean that it will be quick.
- Dress for Success. I have told my clients to dress as if they were going to church or a job interview and not like your going to the beach. As the saying goes, your appearance is your first impression. With that being said, you do not necessarily need to wear a three piece suit, but dress professionally. Make sure your outfit is clean and wrinkle free; if you have piercings or tattoos, you may consider covering them up. When it comes to jewelry, try to limit it to three items (earrings count as 1, glasses count as 1, and a watch counts as 1; keep this in mind when preparing). Also you may want to avoid expensive jewelry and designer labels; the last thing you want is to be arguing that you cannot afford the child support, alimony, fine, or what ever and your wearing a Rolex watch or carrying a Prada bag.
- Less is More. Be careful about bringing family and friends to the hearing. Anyone that was mentioned on a potential witness list, and who is there, but was not subpoenaed, can be called to testify. You do not want your mistress showing up during your divorce hearing, because she could prove adultery. Also, do not bring young children to court, unless your attorney or a Guardian Ad Litem has told you to. The courthouse can be a very boring place for children and if it is a divorce proceeding you do not want to drag your children in there to listen to you saying negative things about the other parent and vis versa. Another recommendation is to leave your cellphones outside the courtroom or at least have them turned OFF. The last thing you need is to upset the Judge by a phone ringing or a text alert.
- Poker Face. It is very important that you manage your emotions and keep a poker face. Rolling your eyes and sighing will not help your case any. Also avoid speaking negatively of the opposing party, judge, lawyers, or really anyone while in the courthouse; you never know who may be in the next stall in the restroom and there really are no soundproof areas in most courthouses. As your mother told you, “If you can’t say anything nice, do not say nothing at all.”
- Speaking in Court. In may court, this is the quickest way to get on the Judge’s bad side. Do not speak when someone else is speaking; and do not speak unless you are directly asked a question. Emotions are running high and sometimes it is very hard not to want to shout, “Your a liar” at a witness, but you must hold your tongue. And when you are asked to speak; speak loudly, clear, and slowly so that the Judge and court reporter can hear you properly. If you must speak with your attorney during a hearing, write him/her a note (this is the one time passing notes is good). And again do not speak over anyone else, especially the Judge. Let the Judge or attorney finish asking his/her question before you answer.
- R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me. Address the Judge with the utmost respect by answering with “Yes your Honor” or “No your Honor”. Respect everyone in the court system, even if you really do not like them. Address the opposing counsel and party as “Mr. or “Ms.” You are always being observed, so be on your best behavior. You may be surprised just how far a little respect goes.
- Breathe. I know it is stressful, but take a deep breath. Be prepared to hear the worst. There are no guarantees or certainties in any court. If you do not get the outcome that you are seeking, take a moment to compose yourself and move forward. Remember cases can change. A temporary order is not the Judge’s final decision; and if it is a final Judgment; sometimes cases can be appealed or modified, eventually children grow up, new relationships form, and your next chapter starts. Be patient, nothing lasts forever, the circumstances may change in the future and you may get what you wanted at a later date.
By following these pointers, you are less likely to upset the Judge and you are more likely to help in the delivery of your arguments and overall case. These are just a few pointers for preparing for your court appearance and you should always consult you attorney about what he/she may like you to do or not to do. There are still many topics and pointers that I have not addressed here, for instance social media (which I have posted about before). If you have any suggestions, or pointers, please feel free to submit them to me.